To you

I can't thank you for what you see before you.
I can't say that you had any part in what I am today.
I taught myself to mend holes in hearts
and wounds in others.
I taught myself to stand up and speak when it's appropriate
So I can't say that you helped me bloom into so called beauty you see before
the colorful word girl
that stands so straight and tall.
I taught myself to battle with depression
and to fight of anxiety
when it attacks my heart
but only when I see you.
I look into your eyes and see cuts and bandages
I see stride and struggle
but not once have you opened that for me
I'm always on the otherside of the door
trying to
knock
kick
cry
BREAK in
I'm always trying to be your perfect little girl
but not anymore.
As you try to make casual conversation
I soon realize you're not listening to a word
I might be saying.
my future plans?
Artist
How do I plan to achieve?
Staying as far as possible away from you
cause all you ever caused me pain and sorrow
regret
all you ever left me with was memories
that I don't were true
but they create a better image of you
and as you push me farther and farther
I lay restless and broke
dreaming of the perfect father.